


i deserve that, don't i, some sort of blazing love that i can live with

by evanescent



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern Corps (Comics)
Genre: (kyle too but to less extent), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, also known as the fic where i drag jason through almost the whole emotional spectrum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 15:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanescent/pseuds/evanescent
Summary: For a brief, quiet moment, Jason hopes – maybe it’s one of the Green Lanterns, or any Lantern, really. Someone.But since hope has so rarely worked out for Jason, a glowing ring enters his peripheral vision instead. So, close enough. He knows what it means.He thinks the ring will make a beeline for Stephanie, or maybe Duke. That it will go to one of his dying siblings because that’s what supposed to happen, right? That’s how it often goes down.But the ring floats right in front of him and makes no indication to move.“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mutters under his breath....Kyle, Jason and Lantern Corps (not always green).





	i deserve that, don't i, some sort of blazing love that i can live with

**Author's Note:**

> hi, long time no fic from me, _again_ , but those last few months i’ve been stuck in that particular kind of creative hell known as “oh, i do have many ideas, but none of them fleshed out enough to actually make a plot” also “finishing something? miss me with that shit” AND also “words? putting them next to each other? what kind of sorcery is that” love that. brilliant
> 
> while i’ve been MIA, i finished reading modern pre-n52 lantern stuff and i love the concept of emotional spectrum and different corps, and i played around with that in here, so you get six unconnected AUs
> 
> essentially, this fic is like you’re hitching a ride with booster gold through a rainbow verse of jaykyle
> 
> (title is a quote from sylvia plath's journals)

Jason is about to leave New York just as he overhears the news of some ten feet tall, vaguely humanoid but also lizard-like creature wreaking havoc in the middle of Manhattan. Apparently, it seems to be pretty strong, able to knock the cars away like they weigh nothing, and it’s pretty good at leaping, too.

Once he flies over and sees it for himself, he’s fairly sure it’s an alien.

“Time to calm down, won’t you?” Jason asks as he grabs the creature in a big, green fist. It struggles, hissing furiously as Jason moves closer. “And where would you come from?”

“ _Planet Reva in Sector 2812_ ,” the ring answers. It figures; that seems to happen almost every time he visits the Big Apple and basically never in Gotham. Really makes you think.

Suddenly, the alien’s jaws snap wide open and it’s spitting an orange, ugly smelling acid. Jason reflexively brings up a shield and the moment of broken focus is enough for the creature to get free. It immediately leaps down and makes a break for it, apparently meaning to round the corner.

Jason thinks, _So, it’s going to be one of these days, then_ , just as a city bus shows up on the other end of the street and the alien zeroes in on it, running right at it. The driver swerves sharply to the side; the bus skids and the momentum is about to send it driving right into a nearby coffee shop.

Not wasting time, Jason constructs a huge safety cushion in front of the shop; the bus collides with it abruptly, but no one should be seriously injured from the impact. Right after, he focuses on the alien, first putting a muzzle on it, wary of the acid, and just then he goes about knocking it out and rolling it into a big, hideous carpet.

He hopes people won’t judge him too much. Jason’s been running on fumes of sleep this week and catching aliens rampaging through the streets of big cities is getting a little old, even for a Green Lantern.

Local branch of S.T.A.R. Labs picks up the alien and Jason hangs back, giving them all the info his ring has to offer and making sure the transport is secure. In the meantime, paramedics arrive; thankfully, apart from some bruises and scratches, people weren’t seriously injured, though the bus is out of commision for the moment. Passengers seem tired and a bit annoyed, but some of the kids actually approach Jason and thank him for the save, putting a smile on his face. In Gotham, people usually brush off near-death experiences with nothing more than a scowl and a curse that Jason is never completely sure is aimed at the criminal rather than him.

He’s finally about to leave because he can feel the incoming call from Bruce, but he picks up a string of such colorful curse words that if Jason himself uttered them within Alfred’s earshot, the man would have him put at least fifty dollars in the swear jar. He turns around.

The source turns out to be one of the unlucky passengers, a guy around Jason’s age range, although he’s dressed up well, in a suit and a tie. His hair, however, looks like a mess and his body language currently speaks _anxious and hectic_.

Jason flies up to him. “Can I help you with something?”

The guy looks up at him from his phone and exclaims, “Yeah, make us a new bus with your magic ring or something?”

That’s a bit… unexpected. Jason raises an eyebrow. “I could do that. Not sure if that would fare well as a form of public transport in the city’s eye, though.”

At that, the man squints. “You’re joking, right?”

“Mostly, yeah. But I _could_ construct a working bus, mind you.”

The guy runs a hand across his hair. “Sorry, I sounded like an ass,” he apologies, sighing. “And really, I appreciate the hard work you do to keep us safe from aliens and such... ”

“But?” Jason prompts.

“But I have a job interview in like fifteen minutes and there’s no freaking way I’m gonna be on time,” he laments, looking crestfallen. “I really wanted to take a shot at that.”

And Jason hesitates, but only for a moment.

“Where is your interview at?” Finding out the place, Jason whistles. “Oh, a planetarium. Nice.” He holds up his hand. ”So, how about a balloon?”

The gay stares at him. “Uh, what?”

“I’m gonna give you a ride, so you’ll make it on time for the interview,” Jason explains patiently.

“Don’t you have some heroics to do?”

Jason shrugs. “I can spare a few minutes…”

“Kyle,” the man introduces himself. “Kyle Rayner.”

“So, Kyle. Are you in or not?”

Kyle worries his bottom lip for a second before he rattles out, “Not to be picky, but… could you make a huge bird instead, like, I don’t know, an eagle? Something badass.”

Jason is shaking his head internally, but another idea springs to his mind, and so the construct ends up being something different. Kyle – and a few onlookers – audibly gasp.

“Is that –” Kyle starts, and doesn’t finish.

“Pegasus, yup,” Jason confirms. “Specifically, Wonder Woman’s Pegasus. She’s a real deal, believe me.” He tilts his head. “Is this _badass_ enough for you?”

“Suddenly this is the best day of my life,” Kyle immediately answers, coming closer. He gets startled when Pegasus tries to nab at his earlobe and Jason barely holds in his grin.

“Alright, so get on. Being fashionably late doesn’t always look good.”

For all his supposed excitement, Kyle is gripping onto the construct of Pegasus pretty tightly as they take off and Jason can’t really blame him; first times are hard. All of his teammates had doubts, even some members of the Justice League; only Dick and Cassandra were truly delighted, no trace of fear or whatsoever, because his family is weird like that.

(Tim, on the other hand, screamed when they went for nosedive. Jason found it absolutely hilarious.)

Speaking of family, the phone Jason keeps with himself if he doesn’t carry a comm, starts ringing. Not pausing in the air, he checks, just to be sure – and yes, that’s Bruce calling. He ignores it for the time being.

“Uh, shouldn’t you get that?” Kyle asks, uncertain. Jason glances at him.

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s just–” he almost says _my dad_ , but catches himself in time; if he actually said that out loud, he’d have to fly down to earth and hope the ground opened to swallow him whole. “–Batman. He can wait.”

He can hear Kyle inhale. “Wow. Batman has your number and calls you just like that, in the middle of the day. Shouldn’t he be asleep on the rafters in some cave or something?”

Jason can’t help but actually laugh at that; some jokes don’t get old and Kyle is not _that_ far off from the truth. “Actually, if you can believe that, his sleeping schedule is _terrible_. Once, after four days with no sleep, I saw him fail to pour hot coffee into his mug and he spilled it over his hand instead, and _didn’t even flinch_. I thought the mug will break from his glare, though.”

“Wow. That’s so… Batman, I guess,” Kyle comments. “Sounds like you know him a little, huh? I thought Green Lantern was just occasionally working with Justice League. Last I heard, weren’t you still a member of Teen Titans?”

Oh, shoot. Jason probably _shouldn’t have_ talked about Batman so casually. It’s kind of hard to explain without outright stating that he lives with the man, has known him for years. It’s not exactly a common knowledge that Green Lantern used to be the second Robin.

It’s been a long time now, but Jason still remembers being barely fifteen and that rainy night on patrol. He and Batman split up to catch all of Two-Face’s henchmen, and when he finished tying the last one up, Jason felt this prickling sensation at the back of his neck. But instead of a fight on his hands, he found a little blue man staring at him, and just as Jason’s mind went, _Hey, wait, isn’t he one of the–_ , the man handed him a glowing ring and said, “You, you will do. This is the last one. It ends where it started, that seems fitting.”

And even though he and Bruce have been going through kind of a rough patch in their partnership then, Jason will never forget the absolute _epic fit_ the man threw upon finding out a Guardian of the Universe handed Jason a Green Lantern Ring.

News about Hal Jordan and Parallax reached them soon enough, and Jason felt like he couldn’t just ignore this calling he was presented with. He was trained, granted, not for _this_ , but he could do that. Giving up Robin eventually was an entirely different matter, a harder one, but Jason liked where he was now.

“I have a feeling I poked my nose into something that’s not really my business, didn’t I?” Kyle shakes him out of his thoughts. Jason notices he seems almost relaxed now, sitting on a construct of a mythical horse made of willpower.

Today is _definitely_ one of those days.

“Nah, you’re fine,” Jason answers, waving a hand. “I’m from Gotham, actually, so I get to see the man more often than an average Titan,” he settles on saying; it’s true, after all.

“Oh,” Kyle says and Jason thinks he wants to add something else, but then they’re starting to swiftly drop the altitude and Kyle makes a noise sounding a lot like an aborted scream.

They attract some curious looks, but people have seen Green Lanterns do weirder things, so when they touch down on the pavement in front of the planetarium, it’s not such news.

“Here we are,” Jason states when Kyle slips off of Pegasus on slightly wobbly legs.

“Well, that sure was something,” Kyle says. He dusts off his suit, tries to tame his hair, but quickly gives up. “Do I look decent?”

Jason scrutinizes him and steps closer. “Your tie got loose,” he says, fixing it; Alfred’s lessons weren’t in vain. Once he’s done, he takes a step back and up in the air. “Looking sharp. Go nail that interview.”

Kyle smiles at that. “Really, _thank you_.” He’s about to climb the stairs, but hesitates for a second. “Will I see you again?” he asks then.

Jason kind of wants to say yes, but instead, he answers, “Well, if you get the job, it will save me the trouble of looking for you during ‘stray alien on the loose’ incidents.”

Kyle gives him thumbs up. “Challenge accepted.”

***

“I got the message from JLA. You wanted to see me?”

Kyle isn’t an often guest in the Batcave nowadays, so a request from Batman to come over is surprising. Even more so, considering the man’s just recently came back from what, to Kyle’s understanding, was a case of being misplaced in time after everybody thought him dead for months. And he wasn’t even lost in the future, but the past, so that sounded a little wild even for Kyle, and he had seen a lot.

Bruce is sitting in front of the computer, apparently reading, the cowl pulled down. His expression is hard to decipher, but there’s something tight in his features, making the wrinkles and faint scars even more prominent; a tension that sets Kyle himself on the edge.

“Yes. Thank you for coming,” Bruce says, closing his open tabs – Kyle only catches sight of a map of the world with several marked locations and some file in Arabic – and turning to him. “I wanted to ask you about something. It has to do with the Blackest Night.”

Kyle already doesn’t like where this conversation is going. “I prefer to think about that as little as possible,” he tells the man, crossing his arms, gaze moving to the side.

“Understandable,” Batman says and has the decency to sound somewhat apologetic, if terse. There’s a pause and it takes Kyle a moment to realize it’s hesitation. “When it was happening, did you… did you see Jason? As one of the Black Lanterns?”

In hindsight, Kyle could have expected this question, but at this very moment, it knocks the breath right out of him and his vision swims black for a few seconds. He has to hold onto a nearby countertop to keep his balance and even as he does so, his arm shakes.

He hasn’t thought about Jason in a long time.

“I didn’t,” he answers finally, raising a hand to rub his temple. “I had my fair share of other dead ones to deal with.” Jade. Alex. “Why do you ask?”

“Dick did see him then,” Bruce states, voice weirdly detached. “Tim and Damian, too. Here in Gotham.”

Kyle manages an, “Oh,” and then, “He didn’t tell me.” It stings a little, but he can understand; it wasn’t really his business and he shouldn’t be so surprised. Jason was dead and it was to be expected he’d have been brought back by Nekron’s vile forces to raise among the Black Lantern Corps and haunt his loved ones.

Bruce drags a hand across his face. “He only told me that a few days ago. To be exact, it rather… slipped out.” Kyle wonders what was the final factor that made Dick slip up, was it some injury, mixed with blood loss and pain medication, or simply alcohol. “I believe he wanted to spare me pain.” He pauses for a moment and states, “Jason’s grave is empty.”

Kyle closes his eyes. “Bruce, I’m sure you know a lot of bodies were never recovered –”

“No, you don’t understand,” Bruce interrupts him, tone impatient. “Jason’s body was. They buried him again. But now the grave is empty.”

Kyle straightens up, his focus on Bruce sharp all of the sudden. “ _What_?”

“I asked Clark to take a look, to be sure. None of us can tell what happened, or when exactly it happened, but it must have been after the Blackest Night,” Bruce explains. His expression is caught somewhere between grim desperation and feverish hope. “What about people who were brought back to life? By the Entity?”

“You know there were twelve of them. No more, and no less.” Heroes like Blue Beetle and Aquaman, but also villains, like Maxwell Lord.

“So that leads to the question: what happened to Jason’s body?” Bruce asks, but what Kyle hears is, _What happened to Jason?_

“Do you think…?”

“I don’t know nearly enough yet to know what to think, but I’m going to find out.” There’s a steel resolve in his voice, a double one if Kyle can say so, coming both from Batman and Bruce Wayne. “I’m not convinced it has to do with Lanterns or Emotional Spectrum in any way, but I still want to ask for your help.”

This startles Kyle. “Wouldn’t you like someone with more experience? I’m not saying Hal, but John, at least… Why me?”

Bruce looks at him and simply says, “Because you were Jason’s friend.”

It’s been years since then, but Kyle remembers being handed – and that was putting it nicely – the most powerful weapon in the universe by a small blue man and suddenly having no idea what was going on with his life. One day he was a regular high school student, the next he became a Green Lantern, and the last one at that. 

Teen Titans seemed like the safest bet for the Justice League that wasn’t entirely sure what to do with him and Kyle didn’t come to regret that, starting the whole superhero business with people his age. It eased him into this world, even though the beginnings were still rocky, and probably more flashy than the senior heroes would have liked. But not everyone was so disapproving; back when Kyle officially became part of the team, Robin told him, _A Green Lantern! That’s just great. I can tell you must have brought Batman a lot of grief. We’re gonna be good friends._

And good friends they were, for many missions and close calls to come over the years. Then Jason died and after that, a lot of other people in Kyle’s life followed, just as restoration of the Corps finally came to fruition. And even though these days Kyle was more likely to be found in depths of space among fellow Lanterns, he’d never forget where he started at. With whom.

Kyle looks back at Bruce. “So, when do we start?” 

***

Jason’s been sitting on the beach for maybe fifteen minutes when he suddenly feels hands cover his eyes.

“Guess who,” Kyle singsongs from behind and above him, and the corners of Jason’s mouth turn up in a smile.

“You’re late, Lantern Rayner,” he says, in a serious, stern voice.

“Gah! You sounded just like Salaak. That gave me flashbacks,” Kyle replies, probably only half-mockingly terrified. As Jason leans his head back, Kyle’s hands slip away from his eyes, cupping his face instead. “Sorry about that, by the way. On my way here, I dropped by and stopped a war before it could break out in Sector 954.”

“Of course you did,” Jason says and finally looks at Kyle. His gleaming uniform is grey rather than white in the rays of setting sun, his darker skin standing out, a truly beautiful contrast. He’s not wearing the mask and his brown eyes are earnestly staring into Jason’s, like he can look right into him. Into his soul, into his heart.

Technically, both of them can, he supposes, faintly amused at how cliche it sounds. Kyle flies around to properly face Jason as he leans in to kiss him. Even through the gloves of his uniform, Kyle’s hands feel warm, making Jason’s skin tingle. He brings his own hands up to wrap them around Kyle’s neck. Even through his closed eyelids, Jason can see his ring shine a deep violet light, but it’s unobtrusive, steady.

It hasn’t always seemed to be that easy, he remembers distantly.

(Earlier during the briefing, Jason joked another crisis threatening to destroy the Earth was long overdue by their standards.

Now, as he kneels soaked to elbows in Damian’s blood, he doesn’t find it funny anymore. Looking at the mess they got themselves into, he isn’t laughing at all.

“Give me another bandage,” Duke tells Stephanie, keeping a pressure on Tim’s femoral artery. Steph throws him one, not moving from her place on the ground between Cass and Dick, working twice as hard.

The three of them got lucky, if you could call it that, just some shallow wounds and bruised ribs. It was a stupid decision to split up, even though Jason knows that otherwise, all of them would be dying now.

He tries not to think about the amount of blood Damian’s already lost in concrete numbers. _Too much is bad enough as it is_.

“Any luck on comms?” he asks, his voice rough.

“No, still no way to raise either Oracle or Batman,” Stephanie answers. She’s holding it together well, but Jason can see her shoulders are shaking. “I guess it’s a hell out there.”

It sure must be. And while Jason knows Bruce will get paranoid and worried when he can’t contact them, he may not be in position to look for them. He can only hope Babs is safe.

“Maybe we should try–” Duke starts, voice wavering, but pauses, glancing somewhere up and behind Jason’s shoulder. “What’s that supposed to be? Something is closing in on us. Some… light?”

For a brief, quiet moment, Jason hopes – maybe it’s one of the Green Lanterns, or any Lantern, really. Someone.

But since hope has so rarely worked out for Jason, a glowing ring enters his peripheral vision instead. So, close enough. He knows what it means.

He thinks the ring will make a beeline for Stephanie, or maybe Duke. That it will go to one of his dying siblings because that’s what supposed to happen, right? That’s how it often goes down.

But the ring floats right in front of him and makes no indication to move.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mutters under his breath.

“ _Jason Todd of Earth_ ,” the ring says. “ _You’re capable of great love. You have been chosen by the violet light_.”

Jason just stares, but it feels like he doesn’t see anything. “What the fuck,” he whispers, his hands almost going slack where they’re keeping pressure on a wound in Damian’s abdomen.

“ _You’ve known love, and you’ve known loss_ ,” the ring continues. “ _For many years now, your heart has been tearing itself apart, fighting battles that could never be won. But because of that, it stands out among many others. Let the light of love fill it_.”

Jason’s mind is swimming; a few feet away from him, Cass groans, starts to cough up blood. Stephanie turns her on the side, to stop her from choking. If the circumstances were different, he’d be laughing about being chosen by a ring of love, out of all things. But the circumstances are what they are.

“ _A choice now presents itself_ ,” the ring goes on. “ _Ignore the calling or decide to–_ ”

“Can you save them?” the words tumble out of his mouth before he thinks, cutting off the sentence when it’s not even done.

“Jay… What are you...”

“You have a collapsed lung. Shut up, Dick,” Jason orders, focusing back on the ring. He’s never quite wished as much as in this moment that his interest and knowledge of Lantern Corps extended beyond occasional flirting with Kyle Rayner and hoping that someone is going to punch Batman. “Well, can you?”

“ _The violet light is capable of limited healing of the user and others_ ,” the ring replies, unperturbed by his rudeness. “ _But it’s only as strong as love and will of its wielder_.”

 _Limited healing my ass_ , Jason thinks sourly. But it tells him what he needs to know – it’d probably be enough to stop them all from dying before help gets there.

Briefly, Jason remembers – how much he used to hate and resent those people he didn’t even want to consider his siblings. For being better, for taking his place, for taking the only real family he’s ever really had, making him feel like he could never be part of that again. He was angry and hurt, and so he hurt them in turn, and God, how he hated.

Hated himself.

Hated being alone.

WIth time, Jason learned burned bridges still make for decent pathways back home if one’s determined enough. It still feels relatively new, having family again. And he’ll not lose them, not now.

Up until this point, Jason never really considered if his love for them now was stronger than his resentment back then.

“Okay,” he breathes out. Stephanie and Duke just stare at him. “Okay, I accept.”

“ _Shall it be, then_.” Jason’s right arm is trembling slightly as he takes it off Damian’s stomach. The ring flies down to meet his bloodied hand, setting down on his gloved finger. “ _Welcome, Star Sapphire_.”

And then Jason screams.)

“What are you thinking about?” The voice cuts through Jason’s memories. He opens his eyes to find Kyle standing in front of him, peering down at him.

“The time I got this gig,” Jason answers, wiggling his finger. Kyle tilts his head and smiles a little.

“Batgirl and Signal never quite let you live down your original costume, did they?” he asks and Jason snorts, for once glad this is what Kyle brings up.

“Not really,” he agrees, looking down at himself, his whole body covered in violet, black and white. He rather likes it the way it is now. “The heels were overkill, but, truth be told, I considered keeping them, just to be taller than B.”

“I’m always glad to see the pettiness hasn’t been taken out of you,” Kyle comments lightly, extending his hand.

“Never,” Jason replies and takes Kyle’s hand, raising to his feet and slipping the ring off his finger and into a pocket of his jacket as he does so. It feels good to be back in his casual clothes. “So, are we starting our vacation or something?”

Kyle fiddles with his own ring and then he’s out of the uniform as well. “I thought you will never ask,” he says, idly running his thumb over a scar on the back of Jason’s palm. “I’ve never been to this planet before, but there’s apparently so much to do here, did you know? Of course, the beaches are amazing, but there’s quite a number of recreational places in the city and the room service in hotels is said to be _unparalleled_ , I can’t wait to sleep till noon–”

Jason lets Kyle talk as they walk into the hustle and bustle of this alien city. This, he thinks, is good. Better than he could have ever expected of his second attempt at life and for once, he’s okay with it. 

***

Kyle’s reaction time is just slightly off and he barely avoids a beam of violet light that was sure to leave him encased in crystal at best, and dead at worst. Probably.

“Are you growing tired, Lantern?” Fatality asks, laughing as she floats a few away from him, among cold and hard remains of what used to be her home planet Xanshi once upon a time. Her laugh here sounds volatile and wrong.

“Not tired,” Kyle disagrees, constructing a spear and sending it at her. At this point, it’s like a déjà vu; they’ve fought each other so many times, rings or no rings. Enough times for Kyle to be able to tell that there’s something different about Fatality this time. “I’m just wondering if it’s not better to skip the trial part and punish you for your crimes right here.”

“My crimes?” Fatality repeats, shattering the spear with one clean stroke. She’s got quite a good handle on the Sapphire ring now, he notices grimly. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for love.”

That’s precisely what Kyle is afraid of.

“Just since yesterday, you killed five Green Lanterns,” he replies, trying to keep his anger in check. He’s been after Fatality ever since her sudden rampage started, trying to catch up with her as she spread chaos and deaths throughout many sectors, causing the great unrest among the Corps.

Kyle really was foolish enough to think they were done with downright insane Sapphires ever since their Corps was founded. Trust the Zamarons do something.

“And a few Yellows, too,” she comments, shaking her head. “As for they were all without love in them, devoted either to your cold Guardians or advocates of fear.” She moves, flying straight at him and taking him by a surprise; this time Kyle isn’t so lucky and his body screams in pain as the violet light rips through him. “But you are different. Now I see it; your heart burns almost as bright as your willpower.”

Kyle tries to make a construct, even as his rings informs, “ _Power at 31%_ ,” but his arm is numb and his thoughts are swimming. Fatality cups his face into her hands, her aura sharp and electric; Star Sapphires are eccentric, to say the least, but this feels wrong. _Oppressive_ , Kyle’s mind supplies tiredly, as he sees Fatality’s eyes, glazed over with violet haze.

“Show me, Kyle Rayner,” she orders, the crystal gleaming, “who is in your heart?”

And Kyle struggles and tries to fight it, but he fails; an image of Jenny comes to his mind unbidden, a flash of light in the darkness. That’s not how Sapphires’ crystals should work.

Fatality clicks her tongue. “No,” she says, her fingers tightening on Kyle’s face. He groans. “She’s been special to you once, and will always remain dear to you, but she’s not the one you carry in your heart now. Do not try to mislead me, Lantern.” The light shines even brighter. “ _Love can’t be fooled_.”

 _You’re such a fool_ , Jason tells him as he drops a blessedly cold pack of frozen pea on his throbbing temple, but his voice is fond. _That’s what you get for trying to hold up an entire collapsing bridge by yourself._

“Ah,” Fatality breathes. “That’s more like it.”

Her hands leave his face and that overwhelming feeling dissipates. Kyle’s eyes regain focus just to trace a bright trail of light marking Fatality’s path.

Kyle can’t remember the last time he’s been flying somewhere so fast, but even then, he knows he’s hardly a match for her, with how tired and bruised he is. Star Sapphires aren’t considered to be the fastest flyers among the Corps for nothing.

He tells himself Jason will be fine and hold his ground; he’s a capable fighter, has been long before Kyle met him, long before he got his ring. Nevertheless, Kyle’s mind races as he makes his way through the Spectors leading to 2814 and it seems like hours before he reaches Earth, and then he’s in Gotham before he really knows it.

It’s not really hard to find Fatality and Jason once he’s there; the sounds of a fight and bright flashes of light are enough to put Kyle on the right track.

“I admit, I didn’t expect that.” Fatality’s voice carries over a deserted and ruined street. “Another Lantern. But you seem quite weak, don’t you?”

“Eh, haven’t you done your homework on Corps, lady?” Jason asks and Kyle can hear a grin in his voice. He has to know Kyle is here because he says, “Blue is pretty neat, but I was waiting for backup.”

This time, Jason’s construct is more solid and precise, shattering surprised Fatality’s shield and sending her tumbling down the street. If not for her speed, Kyle would have had her right then.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says, floating next to Jason as his ring announces, “ _Power levels at 23% and raising_.”

“You are forgiven,” Jason answers, aqua blue of his uniform gleaming. He doesn’t say, _I knew you’d come, and he doesn’t have to_. “From what I gathered of her nonsense, you tangled with her before?”

“Many times,” Kyle confirms. “Watch your right.”

Between the two of them, dealing with Fatality is easier and Jason finally knocks her out with the blue light, somehow managing to be gentle about that. Kyle immediately immobilizes her and removes her ring.

“Saint Walker must be proud,” Kyle says as his ring announces, _Power at 83% and raising_. “You’re getting better at this. Are you actually speaking the oath and all that?”

Jason only makes a _hmph_ sound in answer and looks around them. “Not to sound _hopeless_ , but I don’t look forward to explaining this mess to B.”

Kyle does laugh at that, but then he sobers up. “I’m sorry,” he says and Jason looks at him, question in his eyes. “She came after you because of me. Because I– slipped up.”

Jason faces softens. “It’s not your fault, Kyle,” he states and his words wash over Kyle, like a crystal clear water, like a smell of hydrangeas in the morning. “But I did think Star Sapphires are mostly… sane, these days.”

“Well, you and me both,” Kyle agrees. “She also demonstrated some unexpected powers.”

“Hm, that spells trouble, doesn’t it?” Jason shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid question. Whenever it does _not_?”

Kyle looks at Jason and thinks, _I really am in love with him_.

He’s so, _so_ screwed.

***

The way Guy thumps him and Kyle on the backs almost makes Jason stumble, not that he’d ever admit.

“Another crazy crisis averted, another day saved,” Guy says with a grin as they make their way through the crowds of fellow Lanterns on Oa, some of them worse for wear than the others, but none dead, thankfully. “That calls for celebration.”

He doesn’t see, but Jason can tell Kyle is rolling his eyes. “An hour ago we were still fighting for our lives, and now you want to open the bar?”

“Ya will see, Kyle, everybody is gonna flock to the Warriors for a breather,” Guy answers. “This is what this place is for, ya know.”

And Guy is right; when Jason sits by the counter, nursing his beer and feeling exhaustion settle in as left over adrenaline leaves his body, he watches the inside of the bar fill. When they started this gig, most of the Lanterns were either torn between cautiously curious and downright distrustful, but with time, the Warriors became what it was always meant to be: Green Lanterns’ place.

Even if it did get destroyed pretty often during fights.

Kyle leans over the counter and flicks off some foam of Jason’s beer. “If you weren’t going to drink it, you shouldn’t have ordered it.”

“I _am_ drinking it,” Jason answers, defensive.

Kyle smiles at that. “Sure you are, _lightweight_.” Jason scoffs, but with no real anger behind it. “It’s not fair Guy didn’t rope you into helping in the kitchen, though.”

“Maybe it’s because he knows that, out of the two of us, you’re the lazy bum who needs to get set straight every once in a while,” Jason comments dryly and has to fight off a smirk when Kyle gawks, affronted.

They’re both silent for a moment, the chatter in the background a pleasant noise. Jason brings a hand to his temple to massage it; ever since the fight ended, he’s been feeling a little strange. It’s not exactly like a headache, but as if there was something tight wrapped around his brain, squeezing occasionally. He can feel the pressure, and it’s raising.

“I’m glad we didn’t lose anybody today,” Kyle speaks up.

“Yeah, me too,” Jason agrees. Then a realization comes upon him and he sighs. “Damn, I’m gonna have to call home and apologize for missing Cass’ birthday.”

“I’m sure they will forgive you and appreciate the fact that you’re still alive,” Kyle tries to console him.

“Yeah, well, once I sent Bruce a simple, _I lived, bitch_. He didn’t find it nearly as funny and clever as I did.”

That makes Kyle laugh out loud. Jason loves it when he’s the one responsible for that.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” a new voice chimes in.

Jason turns and blinks. “Oh, Lantern Natu,” Kyle greets. “Not at all. Are you done with helping the injured? How’s Iolande? Can I get you something?”

“No, thank you,” Soranik says, shaking her head. “Everybody’s stable for now, Iolande included. I’m just looking for Boddika and the others, to let them know Jack T. Chance is going to be alright.”

“Ah, I think I saw Laira by one of the tables further in,” Jason answers, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “You’d have better luck spotting Hannu, though.”

Soranik’s lips twitch. “Certainly. Well, I’m going to pass them the news and go back to Iolande’s side.” She tilts her head. “Lantern Rayner. Lantern Todd.”

They watch her go and Jason finds himself saying, “Soranik and the princess, huh? That was a long time coming. Aren’t they worried about the anti-frantelization law, though?”

“What are you talking about?”

Jason turns to Kyle, frowning. He can feel something akin to pounding in his skull. “You know, one of the new laws? Prohibiting Lanterns from having relationships with each other?”

“There were talks of that, yeah, but the Guardians dropped it in the end,” Kyle protests, worry clear on his face. “Don’t you remember?”

“No, wait, I’m sure it was _passed_ ,” Jason says, his uneasiness growing. “We even– talked about that, since it meant–” He doesn’t finish, though, breath catching in his throat as Kyle leans over, cupping Jason’s cheek into his hand.

“If that really happened, I wouldn’t do that out in public, would I?” Kyle asks, stroking the back of Jason’s neck. His body feels wired. “Are you sure you’re okay, Jason? Maybe you did get hit during the battle. We should ask Natu for a check-up.”

It’d be easy, Jason thinks, his arms staying still on the countertop. He feels tremors, but it’s not him; the bar is starting to shake, glasses clinking against each other.

“No, Kyle,” he says. “There’s something– All of this? It’s so _perfect_ that it feels _wrong_. I’m forgetting something important I was supposed to–”

He doesn’t get to finish; the world as he sees it falls into pieces in front of his very eyes. Jason can’t even scream once before it feels like he’s being forcefully ripped away and when his body seems to collapse on itself, he just struggles to breathe.

“Hey, you there– rookie, whatever your name is. Get up.”

The voice is wrong and Kilowog would call him _poozer_ , anyway. Jason coughs violently and opens his eyes. The sky above him is dark, clouds brewing a storm. The ground he’s laying on is cold and damp, and as he scrubs a hand over his eyes, he catches a glimpse of his ring.

He freezes.

The light is yellow. And, as he looks down on his arm, so is his uniform.

Memories and reality catch up with Jason, dunking him in cold water. He sits up abruptly.

“What happened?” he croaks out.

“Black Mercy, rookie,” the voice answers and Jason glances to the side, having to physically stop himself from attacking when he recognizes the Sinestro Corps member as Romat-Ru, a serial killer from Xudar, Tomar-Tu’s home planet. “Lot of you were scouting out this area and you happened upon, no doubt, Mongul’s present for us.” He opens his beak and spits on the heap of purple and blackish remains of Mercy that gripped onto Jason, paralysing his body as his mind remained locked in a perfect world. “That usurper is almost as bad as Green Lanterns. But soon, they will all be dead.” Romat-Ru glances back at him and stops. “Isn’t your skin supposed to be purple? You’re looking kind of pale.”

 _Shit_ , Jason realizes with a jolt; the time he spent wrapped up in Black Mercy’s tentacles must have had effects on the device altering his appearance. He prays for the camouflage to hold; he can’t afford to be found out yet.

“Not your business,” he spits out, getting up. Romat-Ru observes him, his distrust clear.

“What’s your name? What sector are you from?” he demands. Jason snorts; a low, dark chuckle.

“I don’t answer to you, _birdie_ ,” he says.

“Since Sinestro is busy planning with Parallax and the others, I–”

Jason _snaps_ , feeling yellow energy burst out of him suddenly. His mind doesn’t even conjure a specific construct, but the surge of power is significant and whatever it looks like, Romat-Ru actually _takes a step back_. Despite himself, Jason feels a twisted kind of vindication; he’s always been good at making scum tremble in front of him.

“The name is Nax Beqel, sector 3024,” he says. “You better remember it.”

If Xudarians could scowl, that’s probably how it would look like. “I will keep an eye on you, rookie,” Romat-Ru warns before marching away.

Jason exhales slowly and lets the energy dissipate. He’s still getting handle of the Yellow Ring and while it was effective, he shouldn’t have let himself be provoked like that. But the mention of Parallax…

When he gets back to the Corps, Jason’s eyes seek out Sinestro among the crowds. Predictably, he finds him standing apart from others, on a higher ground, talking with Cyborg Superman and Parallax. Jason’s chest heaves painfully.

His mission, in a grand scheme of things, is simple: infiltrate Sinestro Corps, ree Kyle Rayner of Parallax, don’t die along the way. They still have a war to win and the universe to save, after all.

Jason just can’t wait to kick Parallax’s ass and kiss Kyle stupid, laws be damned. Soon. 

***

“A red and a purple lantern traveling together? Seems like the balance of the universe has really been upset since the green ones died off,” an alleged space pirate claims, shooting a laser gun at Kyle.

 _You have no idea_ , he thinks bitterly, but out loud, he just asks, “ _A purple lantern_? Are you colorblind? And we’re called Star Sapphires, punk,” he corrects, constructing a gun of his own and blasting the laser one into pieces.

He glances around to see how Jason’s doing; his uniform stands out like a red smudge as he flies around, effectively working on rendering a “fleet” of spaceships useless. His constructs aren’t very fancy, but seem solid and sturdy enough, and Kyle can’t help but feel a pang of sadness. He thinks Jason would do really well with a green ring. _Anything else_ , if only the circumstances were different –

“Don’t zone out during a fight, punk! Whatever the hell that means,” another voice calls out and Kyle snaps back into focus, body moving on instinct, but he still gets a solid punch in the stomach. He huffs in pain, squinting at his opponent – the thing he’s wielding _seems_ like a very particular hammer – and narrowly misses another hit that was probably meant to crush his forearm. This pirate is pretty quick, avoiding Kyle’s attacks as he spins around and defies gravity easily.

“Heads up,” the pirate calls, suddenly very close behind him, and it’s all the warning Kyle gets to make a helmet around his head as the hammer hits him. He thinks the construct will hold out, but then he feels a delayed impulse of sorts traveling across the point of impact and the helmet shatters. It sends Kyle down hard; he thinks he hears Jason call his name before his mind spirals, dazed.

A strange assortment of memories overflows him. They come in snapshots; the ruins of Oa, the echo of _Green Lantern Corps is no more_. The destruction of Odym, Blue Lanterns’ home planet. Atrocitus, Sinestro, Indigo-1 and Hal dead. Accepting the Sapphire ring. Meeting many of members of the superhero community in the ruins of the Watchtower, a scavenger hunt for any clues as to what happened to the Justice League. Despair following the realization that they will probably never find out, that the Earth’s finest are gone and not coming back. That there are only that many of them left to protect their world in this universe as of the worst nightmare.

And somewhere along, in all of this madness, Jason. 

Some of the Red Lanterns still didn’t accept Guy’s leadership and many of them tried to take it out on his home planet. That’s what happened when he and Jason were in New York, and the fight started. Jason shouldn’t have even been there because Lantern matters tend to get ugly those days, but stubborn as he was, he didn’t want to leave Kyle’s side.

And that was a mistake. Their allies arrived, but so did the Yellow Lanterns, the most unpredictable factor of all at the moment.

Kyle didn’t know the Red Lantern who dropped that spiteful bomb on the playground full of children, but he did get angry. And he couldn’t be the only one because that Lantern dropped dead mere moments later, killed. But apparently none of their rages could compare to Jason’s in that moment and before Kyle knew what was happening, the red ring was settling on Jason’s finger with ominous, “You belong to the Red Lantern Corps.”

After that, Jason’s mind became so clouded with rage that Kyle had to ask for help of a fellow Sapphire to encase him in a crystal strong enough to last the journey to Ysmault.

It hurt. Even more so than before, Kyle understood what Carol meant when she said, _Star Sapphire ring doesn’t only choose those who have great love in their hearts. They may have great loss, too. Both of these often go together_. She chuckled without a trace of humour to it. _A package deal, if you may_.

Kyle knows he couldn’t be out for longer than a minute, but when he comes to, the ships are a mess of metal junk flying around them. The so-called pirates are nowhere to be seen, so he can only assume they were taken care of, one way or the other.

And then Jason is by his side, checking up on him frantically.

“Kyle? Are you okay? Do you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” Kyle answers and groans; to say his head _hurts_ would be an understatement. But he gives Jason a crooked smile. “Not gonna lie, that hammer was some fancy tech. The criminal element keeps evolving everywhere.”

Jason’s frown is still there, but he leans in, running a hand along Kyle’s arm and shoulder, up to his face, gloved fingertips brushing over skin. It’s the closest they’ve been since leaving Ysmault and for a blissful moment, Kyle doesn’t even remember why is that.

“You got me worried. I wouldn’t handle losing–” Jason doesn’t finish as red specks start flying from his parted lips.

“Jason?” Kyle asks, alarmed.

Instead of answering, Jason coughs and chokes on his own, spoiled blood.

“ _Love detected_ ,” the red ring says. “ _Rage compromi–_ ”

Kyle doesn’t think; he fires the strongest blast which he knows won’t permanently injure Jason. The bright, violet light explodes and Jason flies backwards a good distance.

“What the fuck,” he seethes, red energy buzzing around him. “I mean, I know why you did that, but it hurt _as hell_.”

 _I’m sorry_ , Kyle thinks, but instead, he says, “Good. Focus on that. Be angry.”

He watches as Jason breathes heavily, wiping at the blood around his mouth, conflicting emotions fighting in him, but thankfully, the ring doesn’t leave his finger.

 _He’s not really suitable for a red ring_ , Guy told him after they dunked Jason in the Blood Ocean, to subdue his rage and grant his mind clarity. _Kinda feels like a fluke he ended up with it at all, ya know?_

 _I do. I was there_ , Kyle reminded him flatly. _Wrong place, wrong time._

 _Yeah, sorry_. Guy’s red irises shifted away and back to Kyle. _You know how this goes. The ring works in place of the heart. If he takes it off, he dies. If rage gets compromised, he dies. The best thing you can do is find the Blues and ask them to cleanse him of the red light._

The _only_ thing because Mogo was dead. And finding the few of existing Blue Lanterns would be much easier if they didn’t go into hiding, being on the brink of annihilation themselves. He’s afraid to wonder if they will even be able to help Jason, considering their powers must have greatly diminished after both Odym and Green Lanterns ceased to be.

Kyle really could use some hope right now.

He flies closer to Jason and puts a tentative hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he amends and it hurts to say that, “but I need to you to hate something for me. Feel that anger. _Please_.”

In a way, it feels like a betrayal to everything Kyle has stood for since he became a Star Sapphire. The light of love could do a lot, yes, but it was ineffective against red; the best Kyle can do is try and keep Jason alive, but he doesn’t know for how long it will work. Right now, they stand on opposite ends of the spectrum, their respective powers just waiting to clash if they come too close.

Then again, Kyle thinks that maybe, somehow, this can be excused. He loves Jason too much to let him die.

Jason laughs quietly, burying his face in his hands. “Being angry used to come so easily to me,” he says, voice hollow. “Angry at my good-for-nothing father. At my mom, who I knew loved me, I just wished the drugs didn’t make her forget that. At the system that kept failing. At Bruce–” he inhales sharply, teeth gritting. “Well, you get the idea.” When Jason looks at him, he proclaims, “I _hate_ that I can’t love you like this without literally dying.”

Kyle almost chokes at that. “You’re– you’re so terrible,” he states, but for the first time in the last few days, he feels warmth ignite back in his chest. “But if that works, hold onto that. Until we find a way.”

**Author's Note:**

> which au was your favorite? some of them may be less fleshed out than the others, so if you’re confused or just curious about something, ask away
> 
> kudos, bookmarks and comments are much appreciated! also hmu on twitter @ jaydonnakyle


End file.
